I’ve been neglecting my blog for too long. I feel bad about it. It’s been a great way to put myself out there without the risk of being in pubic. But lately, I’ve been getting the itch to actually step outside my comfort zone. I want to go out, have fun, be myself. Yes, I’ve gone out for a drive a few times. Yes, drove to Dallas en femme last month, and yes I did manage to go shopping once, but it’s not enough.
I had dinner with another TG friend of mine that lives in town, and what happens is that I go over in boy mode, dress there, and then we have dinner, talk, and sip some wine. It’s pleasant to be open with someone. It’s not often I get to be myself. There with her, I get to be Stef, and it’s a liberating experience. I absolutely love it!
After dinner last week – or was it two weeks ago? – I decided not to change back, but to walk to my car and drive to my friend’s place. I’ve noticed that I’m not as nervous about it, though I’m still cautious. While I was leaving, I ended up driving by a gay club, 212 in downtown. Now I’m working up the courage to go there.
I may have to try it out first in guy mode. I’ve never been there, and I’m not big on going out to clubs to begin with, but I want to go out, and I need a safe place to do so. If I think it’s safe, I want to go there as Stefani. I know it’ll probably take me a while to relax, but I think it would be exhilarating. I really need to do it. I can’t survive only within the confines of my friend’s apartment.