I’m currently at work, sitting in the break room, wishing I could be anywhere else, especially my friend’s place. I hate being in boy-mode. I feel like such a slob, and seeing myself in the mirror is so depressing.
I live for the stolen moments when I’m allowed to be me. It’s a subtle magic, this transformation from slob into Stefani. One moment I’m nearly dead, the next I feel alive. Even my friend made that comment, that I radiate happiness whenever I’m Stefani.
But now I can’t be, and I must suck it up. I don’t know when I’ll get to come back out again, but it won’t be until the weekend at the earliest. I should get back to work, pretend I’m comfortable being a man, but we know my secret.